You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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