Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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