yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
