Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
