Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
