she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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