I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
