drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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