do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
