i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
