no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize