I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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