Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
