Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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