I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
