Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
