Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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