He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize