Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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