she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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