I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
