The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
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