come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
