Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
