i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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