she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
