would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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