were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
