4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
