the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
