the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just high enough for therapy.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
