I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
