He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize