He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
