just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
