Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
