I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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