Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
