Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
