My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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