she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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