P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
