well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
