I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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