just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
