I've blown a few things in my day
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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