The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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