As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
