Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize