I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
