I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I've blown a few things in my day
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
