mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
