i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
