People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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