I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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