Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
