Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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