Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
