a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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