Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
