once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Damn victory sex feels great
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
