She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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