Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She's the barista slut.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
